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Pray for surf, and may your prayers always be answered. We have evaluated several methods for summoning waves:

1. Find a surfing skeleton in an outrageous head dress and solicit it to sacrifice a surfboard (a long board for small waves, short board for decent waves, gun for crazy big) on a chac moul on top of a pyramid - works every time.

2. Buy a ZOGWA water container or buy a DEADMANS t-shirt or sweat shirt and wear it 24-7 (to sleep, when showering, to work, to dinner, to the movies, when checking the surf) with belief that it will invoke a decent swell - probably would work if your spouse would let you try it.

3. Drive with buddies to usual spot and observe surfable waves; opine that it must be better at another spot within driving distance; drive to the other spot where it, in fact, sucks; drive quickly back to usual spot and discover wind has come up and tide has killed the waves; realize you are out of time to surf (because of your ill-advised promise to mow the lawn) and are being punished - greed never works.

4. Listen to rumors of big swell; check web sites; investigate lifeguard reports of diving conditions; talk to guy down the street who analyzes buoy movement and swell data to predict monster swell; take chance, get up super extra early praying to beat crowd at killer local spot, and drive to beach with fingers crossed - sometimes works.

5. Keep board in car so that when you drive by local right point break you are prepared to take immediate advantage of perfect conditions - almost never works.

6. You're on your way to a job interview (without your board) when you drive by local right point break; and, of course, it's going off - almost always works.

7. Surf every day, regardless - works.

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